Throw or get thrown?

Did I throw it away?

Or did I get thrown away?

In this mixed up situation, you pulled out so quickly.

You burned a hole in my heart.

Should I laugh or should I ridicule?

How can I live?

Saying goodbye to you was my healing and realization.

Bear with it or leave...

Your cold eyes and words are the spoiler.

In your every action, I see our end.

I tell myself it’s not true but I feel the spoiler.

Should I watch till the end? Or should I leave now?

What if there’s a twist?

How did this all happen to us?

I don’t know if we can fix this.

I just can’t feel the sweet connection anymore.

Is this how it’s meant to be?

I still can’t really understand this.

It’s confusing me.
I don’t know what to do.

Should I bear and continue with this relationship or give up and leave?

Everything’s happen for a reason...

From hello to goodbye.

Ending things with the same word as the beginning.

There’s a reason to it all.

It sounds like...

The blue sky is beautiful but why am I becoming so insignificant and shabby.

I keep holding onto the unanswered phone.

The melody flowing out of the phone is sweet but why does it sound painful to my ears.

It sounds like my heart screaming after it lost you.

It sounds like the melody is mocking my longing for you.

I’ve been stuck in the same spot.

Easy ending instead of happy ending...

It’s different this time.

I deceive myself every time.

But without fail, like always it will come to an end.

Am I really in love?

Or am I dating to break up?

Once again, it comes to me; an easy ending.

I'm different and special...

A girl like me is not so common.

Don’t compare me with other girls.

I’m different.

I’m special.

So listen up.

Stop that hand.

Just look.

You can’t touch.

The past and the future...

Good days and sad days.

Hard days and happy days.

Now it becomes memories of the past.

You and I of the past are now over.

It’s like I came back to reality.

My reason to live is gone.

My head is complicated.

When I open my eyes in the morning, my heart feels empty.

I feel the emptiness, just like I did before I met you.

Holding on...

You still flicker before me when I close my eyes.

But I’ll feel less and less as time goes by.

I don’t regret it, I’m just a bit sad.

I don’t miss you, I just long for you.

The door is open...

Some people are going to leave but that’s not the end of your story.

That’s the end of their part in your story.

That just the way it is...

Some days are just bad days… That’s all.

You have to experience sadness in order for you to know happiness.

And that’s why I always remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day.

That just the way it is.

Do not exaggerate...

You just fell down once in your life.

You just scrapped your knee.

So, don’t exaggerate too much.

Life is long when you live it.

Darkness first then the light...

To know the light, sometimes you have to see the darkness...

        

He who is ....

“He who is attracted to you because you showed perhaps your legs or your shape, those legs are not going to look like that for the rest of your life, nor will you be able to maintain that shape forever. So therefore it is better for you to realize that he who is attracted to your heart, your goodness and your character is the one to whom no matter what you look like, he will love you and adore you and 60 years down the road would still tell you that you’re ‘the one’.”

- Mufti Ismail Menk -

Nip it in the bud, Babe...

I’ve been told, one day you’ll know too much of heaven’s a sin.

After the show, it’s only hell that it brings.

So take it slow and let time heal everything.

They say that time flies, but you keep breaking its wings.

You’ll never fade to black.

Please fade.

But the nightmares come back.

You wish me well.

I wish you hell.

Be strong & patient enough...

Good luck to you.

You have to be happy.

Whoever you meet as my replacement,

You have to be happier as much as the pain you caused me.

Just know this as you leave;

There is no one who will love you like I did.

I might be one of your many break-ups but you are my first and last.

Time to sever the brain from heart and soul...

You left me paralyzed, no cure and no rehab for me.

Funny that you got the nerve to keep asking me; how I’ve been.

You’re the victor in this pageantry but the only trophy you deserve is catastrophe.

I’d rather we be dead to each other.

There’s no eulogies said for each other and no “rest in peace’s”.

The memories got my chest in pieces.

Forget a promenade, let’s juggernaut.

Down memory lane, leave no thought alive.

To the slaughter house, I’m taking my pain.

It’s time to sever my brain from my heart and soul.

Fall in love~

Fall in love. Don’t be guarded before you fall in love. You could fall in love three times and still not find the right one, but none of it is going to make “the one” matter less. Don’t fall into that idea that your first love has to be your best love. Fall in love as many times as it naturally happens.

Love me or leave me alone...

The same old excuses, typical set-ups, the same lines, obvious explanations...

You always give me that.

I’m sick of them now.

I’m getting more and more bored of you.

With the same face and voice, you say you’re sorry.

But after a day, your bad habits repeat.

I feel like I’m alone even when I’m in front of you, always lonely.

I feel like I’m alone even when we’re together.

Now please leave me alone.

I don’t love you no more.

It’s all my fault for loving someone like you.

Should have known better what you put me through.

Should have known better than to fall for you.

I should have known.

Goodbye and please don’t come back.

Take it easy~

Just take it easy regardless how hard it is. That’s life. It never works like we want it to. We can't get everything that we want. Never give up and don't let the world know you've been beaten. Be strong and keep being strong. Take this as an experience- a lesson in life.

Shut them out...

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

Then, I’m powerless. It’s not an easy thing to do though. The best thing I do is just shut them out. It’s much better than faking a smile and being a great actress in front of them.

I am a poet for you...

It’s hard but I need to admit it.

I can lie to everyone but not to myself.

I need you.

Like the roses need the rain.

Like the poet needs the pain.

My life without you is like a broken pencil, pointless…

I loved you once, I love you still, I always have, I always will.

Sometimes...I wish~

Sometimes, I get annoyed without even knowing why.

But my feelings for you haven’t changed even a bit.

Maybe I’m the weird one.

I want to wake up with your text every morning.

I want to fall asleep with your voice at the end of the day.

On the weekends, I want to hug you in front of a lot of people as if I’m showing off.

How I wish to do that.

Faith~

A guiding star lights up even in the darkest night.

If you ever feel lost, keep your faith and perseverance.

In the end, you will find your way.

Seize it...Don't squander it...

Seize the moment and don't squander it because you never know when it all could be over tomorrow.

I can take so much until I had enough!

I can take so much…

Until I've had enough…!

When that time comes, I will give up on everything including you.

I wouldn’t give a damn on you anymore.

I wouldn’t bother about you anymore.

Finally, you are free and its means that I will abandoned you forever.

You and I are no longer related.

No memories that we shared.

Even your existence I will erase it.

Later on please don’t come and crawl back at me as I only can see you with a disdain looks in my eyes and walk away without even looking back.

I will be colder than ice and harder than rock.

I’m going to live on as strong as coral and reef.

Fall in love with my bestfriend...

Pretending that we’re just friends, acting like we’re lovers...

Please don’t do that.

The more I think about it, I get more curious about your real feelings.

You’re so ambiguous.

I can’t do anything or maybe I’m expecting a miracle.

I want a clear sign but I forget all about it when I see your smile.

Don’t just laugh like you don’t know and stop this now.

Be honest with me.

Don’t put me in your heart and look elsewhere.

Why don’t you stop acting like you don’t know when you do know?

Don’t give excuses that you’re tired but hurry and tell me that you love me.

Then, shall I confess first?

I shall admit that finally I realize; I fall in love with you-my bestfriend...

It feels like...it seems like...but it's not.

These days, it feels like you’re mine.

It seems like you’re mine but it’s not.

It feels like I’m yours.

It seems like I’m yours but it’s not.

What are we?

I’m confused.

Don’t be aloof.

It feels like we’re lovers.

It seems like we’re lovers but we are not.

Whenever you see me, you act so vague to me.

These days, I hate hearing that I’m just like a friend.

I don’t like you these days.

But I only have you by my side.

Please clearly draw the line for me.

Don’t pull out, just confess your love to me.

If I... Will you?

With your one word, I laugh.

You come to me in the fluttering wind.

You come to me in the blinding sunshine.

My day is yours.

Distraught, gone crazy…

If I endlessly call out, will you take a last glance?

Allow me...

Like colors you saw in a painting- various…

Everything is new.
Right now let me show you what I got.

Can't escape the frozen time...

I think that man is lost.

He can’t find his way and is pacing back and forth.

He’s still left alone in the dark night.

I think he really loved her to death.

I don’t think he can do anything by himself.

He can’t escape the frozen time.

I think that girl threw something away.

She can’t find her way and she's hesitating.

She’s still left alone in the dark night.

I think she really loved him to death.

I don’t think she can do anything by herself.

She can’t escape the frozen time.

Knowledge~

It’s okay if you don’t know anything at first. Do question, even the basics. You will be a fool for once. If you don't, you will be, for a lifetime. Learn slowly. Take your time to digest the new information. If you makes mistake, learn from it. Never ever repeat the same mistake. All of that will become your experience. Remember the saying that we used to say during our school days? - “Experience is the best teacher”. When you already mastered the knowledge, don’t forget to share it with others. Don’t be too stingy with knowledge. Knowledge without application is simply knowledge. Applying the knowledge to one’s life is wisdom and that is the ultimate virtue.

Meaningful quote~

I’ve unintentionally seen one quote with a simple words and deep meanings;

“If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next, if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. You'd be a stone. You'd never eat or drink or laugh or get out of bed in the morning. You'd never love anyone, ever again. You'd never dare to.”

― Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

Indeed, it’s so damn true. It is better for us not to know too much. It will lead to disaster. Just follow the rhythm. by doing it, won't kill us though.

You said...

You said that I make you so angry and mad for no reason.

You said that you’re serious but I’m the one who turn you into a loser.

In the end, you pick fights with me.

You asked me why you cared so much about me.

You said that I’m making a big boy act like a little kid.

You said that you’ll turn things around; from just knowing each other to becoming lovers.

The new me...

The pain spreads all over my body like a poison.

Well this is more than enough.

This time I let you go first.

If you meet someone better than me, then that’s it.

You may go.

I don’t wanna be a victim anymore.

No I refused to be treated unfairly by you.

Did you think I’d always be pacing back and forth?

I’m sorry but I hope we’ll never see each other again.

I don’t think you know but I’m sleeping quite well these days.

The me right now is different from the me that you used to know.

Our book of memories...

The me who didn’t know how to be thankful for love.

The me who thought that the end was the end.

To the image of you who wanted me to be, I fixed myself everyday.

I think my love will continue on forever.

Stopping the time, I go back to you.

I open this book of memories and I open up your page.

And in the book I’m in there, in there with you; the special things that I met that winter.

How I feel...

The after-hours of nighttime that always comes has become my companion.

It comes to me in case I get lonely from being alone.

When the sun sets, tears welled up without any reason.

Suddenly thinking of how I got dumped by a past lover.

How I held back tears as I looked at the night sky.

How I swallowed my tears, not being able to cry like a fool.

How I pretend to be so strong in front of you.

Now I feel empty.

This place without you feels as if has stopped in time.

Don’t go too far away, stay where you are.

Please wait for me.

I’m going crazy, being alone here during the wee hours of night.

The mug you worked so hard to make for me has shattered.

A piece of it got stuck in my hand and I’m bleeding but why am I blaming you?

I’m confused.

It was hard enough to walk on my own.

I’m angry with myself but at the certain point I got mad at you.

Without I realize, the morning sun that always comes also has become my companion.

It shines on me when I cry to console me.

I want to go back to the days before I met you.

I want to go back to when I was young.

I want to back to when everything was happy.

How I wish to have the power to change everything.